Wanted it more than anything. That’s why I was going to force it; tonight, by my own hand.Then, would you like to change the lives of those you hold dear?I hadn’t expected another message.The faces of the two women I lived with—my aunt and my younger sister—surfaced momentarily from the depths of my selfishness, but I closed my eyes to them.Aunt Riley was getting by just fine without my help, and Jessie—You’re running away from it.—was better off without a useless brother like me. I selected “no” again.There was no third prompt.Since I didn’t have anywhere in particular to go, I walked aimlessly around my small coastal Florida town of Navarre taking pictures of whatever happened to catch my attention. I’d like to say they were the best pictures I’d ever taken. To say that before my death a miracle occurred and I captured my last will and testament in photographic form.If miracles like that really occurred, maybe I wouldn’t have felt like running away.No, the pictures I took were as. They both loved me, could I be the bridge between the two? What did Mary say to you? I asked her. Thats not what you were supposed to say. Tell her how you feel. But fear stayed my tongue. I could live the rest of my life with the memory of our brief fling. But only if I believed that Leah actually loved me. If she didnt…I did not want to think about that. Leah swallowed. She asked me if I… Leah breathed deeply. If I loved you. Do you? I blurted out before my brain could stop me. Yes, she whispered, then she hugged me tightly. Dont go back to your husband. Please, stay with me. Think of all the fun we can have together. I love you, Rachel. My heart melted. I love you, too, Leah, I whispered back and she squeezed me tighter. But, I love Jacob. I met him first. I could feel tears brimming in my eyes. You have to choose then, Leah said, pulling away. It…its alright. I knew this was a dream that I had to wake up from. Why cant I have both of you? I asked. Mary told me to love both of.
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